Je suis un pamplemousse. DONNEZ-MOI TOUS VOS CROISSANTS!

• RP: You have the only job in the world where people line up to hug you. Davey: Well, me and the Pope. RP: Are you crazy? You can't hug the pope. He's inside the bubble. Davey: Are you sure you can't hug the Pope? Hey, everyone, does anyone know if you're allowed to hug the Pope?

• I'm God.

• Oh, please! I wish I had her body! [when called a Madonna impersonator]

• I'm Davey and I sing, make faces, and swing from trees.

We were all Gothic before we were born. Especially Hunter.

• A girl in Salt Lake once asked me 'Why are you wearing makeup? Are you a fag?’ I then said 'Well, if I'm a fag for wearing makeup, you must be a dyke in blue jeans'. I also informed her that she was just angry because I was prettier than she was.
• Interviewer: Do you practice putting makeup on anyone in the band? Davey: No. But I practice other things.
• Old ladies come up to me all the time telling me to find God. Look, all I want to find is some chai and a good vegan muffin.
• Interviewer: I read something somewhere about 'the monster'. Davey, I wanted you maybe to explain something about the monster that came out. I was just wondering if you could share that with our viewers. Davey: I don't know what the monster is. There is a monster. [Adam is giggling in the background] It happens in the studio, sometimes it happens on stage, [Adam can't control his giggling] and it's in my neck. Interviewer: It's in your neck. Show that. Davey: [points] Right about here. Sometimes it happens when I'm just talking, like I'd be talking to you and the monster bites me. Interviewer: Alright. Davey: It hurts. Adam: He could just be standing there and all of a sudden just DROP ['dropping' arm motion] and be on the floor. Davey: Because of the monster. Interviewer: Man. Due to the monster? Jade: People probably think we're a weird band because of this. People listening to this are probably thinking we're just weird. Davey: Yeah I mean, this is not an attempt to be whack.
• Yeah, I can't play a thing at all. I cannot play an instrument. I do a lot of 'nah-nah-nah-doo-doo-doo' kinda stuff.
• How many times will Davey put a disc into his CD player before realizing it's a DVD?
• I wish terrible things upon the person who just did that. [After being hit in the crotch with a size 27 Birkenstock by someone in the crowd at Warped Tour in Charlotte, NC.]
• Davey- Yeah, they'll listen to it, and if it says something crazy, they'll say, "Oh, we can't play this. This is too much for the people to handle." There are some exceptions to the rule. There are bands like Tool, or Smashing Pumpkins. Rage Against the Machine. Nine Inch Nails. What other bands have valid things to say? Adam: Slipknot. Davey: Slipknot??? I don't know what the hell they're saying! Adam: They want to take over the world.
• Q-"Davey, are you still straight?" Revolver Magazine-"I think they mean Straight Edge." Davey-"Oh, I thought they might have been confused after the 'I blow' comment."

• Q: What are the most embarrassing things to happen onstage?
  Adam: Napalm sweat dripped into my eye once and blinded me for half the set. I also poked myself in the eye with my drumstick.
  Jade: In Boise on the Rancid tour I went to run up the wall and jump off it but my foot went straight through instead and my leg was buried in the wall up to my knee.
  Adam: That was great!
  Jade: I tried to play a blazing solo to take people’s minds off it but I don’t think it worked…
  Adam: Worked for me.

   

• Interviewer: If you were stranded on a desert island, what one album would you want with you?
  Jade: I'd build a lifeboat out of sand.
  Davey: [looking confused] What?!

   

• On what the guys would eat for their last meal:
  Adam: How pathetic is a Round Table pizza?
  Nick13: I don't know, what's on it?
  Adam: Probably just cheese and olives.
  Jade: Pathetic...
  Hunter: Sounds good.
  Adam: You know, maybe some of my mom's tabouli, but that's about it. I don't know. Coca-Cola Classic.

   

• Interviewer: I was wondering if you and Davey ever fought over a mirror backstage or something, and if so who won? And who has used the most makeup on one single night?
  Jade: Actually, yes, that happens all the time. Finally, I was like, "That's it! It's time to settle this make-up contest once and for all, I challenge you to a make-out!" Wrong choice of words.

   

• The whole time we were recording, we were trying to get permission from Winona Ryder to use her "My whole life is a dark room" part from Beetlejuice but we never heard from her so we said, "Fuck it, we'll use our own spooky dark-haired girl," and called in Davey.

• Jade: What's up with that falafel?
  Smith Puget: Super good.
  Jade: Does it taste good when it's in your mouth?
  Smith: Watch the teeth go.
  Jade: Man..
  Hunter: Did you just say "Watch the teeth go"?